St Valentine died brutally for marrying people in secret. Seriously. So this day, in honour of this guy, is the great symbol of love because… what? He married people? He wrote to some mates asking them to pray for him before he got chopped up by the Romans? Wow. Romantic. Let’s write an obnoxious poem about it and put it on a card.
Bleugh. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I feel obliged to write a blog post about Valentine’s Day just to acknowledge the fact that it is Valentine’s Day and I am single and alone and minus a tacky card or some red roses… or something.
Can you tell I’m not a fan of Valentine’s? Not because I’m a bitter single, not because there’s annoyingly “cutesy” couples everywhere, and not for any of the reasons you instantly assume. No. I hate Valentine’s Day because it makes you assume those things.
I have never had a Valentine’s card. And the first time I ever got flowers was for my birthday last year from JK because we discussed how I had never had flowers and he wanted to do something nice (no, there was no romance). I have never been on a Date (well, one, but it was so rubbish and juvenile I can’t even bring myself to count it).
So do you want to know why I don’t like Valentine’s? Because it makes you feel that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t get a card, that you’re ugly if you don’t get flowers, that you’ll forever be alone if you don’t go on a date. It makes you feel worthless. And it’s even worse for couples! What do you get the other half? What if they don’t like it? What does it symbolise? If I give them this, will they get offended because it seems that I just felt obliged to get something? Should I take them somewhere? What if they don’t like the place I take them? And on and on and on until the day itself is almost as angst-ridden as it is for single teenagers.
Get over it.
If I was in a relationship, I’d rather they put the effort in to our anniversary, or even better, be spontaneously romantic. I don’t want a cuddly toy clutching a heart, and to be honest I prefer lilies to roses (*ahem* note to future suitors, because I know you’re queuing up out there). I am not looking for validation that I’m desirable or loved or wanted just because it’s the 14th February and we’re meant to.
I want young people to be empowered to love themselves, not to feel inept at being loved. I’m not raging against Valentine’s Day as such, because this particular saint has been dead a few centuries and I don’t think he expected to be remembered with heart-shaped balloons, but I’m raging against the importance stuck to this one day. The same as Christmas, as Easter, as all these celebrations and holidays that somehow make you feel worse. So ignore the fact it’s Valentine’s Day and just be happy being with you. There’s one thing I’ve discovered the past few years – you’re not as bad as you think you are. So hell, if you fancy it, send yourself some flowers. Just because you can.