Why Grammar Saves Lives

Yes, people, grammar does save lives. And not because of this humorous quip:

No, it also saves lives because it means I won’t MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP WHEN YOU GET IT WRONG.

I have a variety of pet peeves about grammar. Check out Hyperbole and a Half for a good old rant about “alot” (Pet Peeve No.1).

I’m a bit of a grammar psychopath in honesty.

I can’t bear to see anything misspelt or poorly written (even if it’s used in a deliberate “amusing” way). I’ve only really come to terms with Text Talk. And don’t even get me started on the use of these ridiculous TLAs that seem to be appearing in real speech nowadays (I genuinely heard someone say “LOL” the other day instead of just laughing out loud).

Over the years English language has been butchered enough without laziness making it worse. There are rumours that one day people will be allowed to write their exams in Text Talk. This upsets me. This is not the evolution of language, this is pure and simple idleness. People just can’t be bothered to put the time and effort in to write something properly. Perhaps people are more short of time than they used to be, but is that an excuse for running words together, or failing to put apostrophes in?

I don’t think so.

Which is why my friends have learnt to keep their head down when I start on my “grammar isn’t a joke” rant. (I honestly think I said that once, much to my shame). Of course, I get grammar wrong too – I misspell things and put apostrophes in strange places – and sometimes I even use poor grammar to my advantage (colloquialisms are a nightmare of grammar hiccups). But I would never, ever presume to ignore grammar.

Have you ever had a pet peeve that makes you so angry you can’t even drink your tea? (I know, horror, there IS something that comes between me and tea. So get your grammar right, kids, and we’ll all sleep better for it).

1 Comment

Filed under Word Wonders

One response to “Why Grammar Saves Lives

  1. “Confessing would save John’s life, but it would also be a lie, and it would ruin the reputations of all the other accused.” Are the commas right?

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